Alex,
You are right, this not a trivial subject. It was only a few short months ago that I was going through the same as you. I have a reasonable understanding of what I can and cannot do, but my knowlege is by no means comprehensive. These days I have little interest in the "nuts and bolts" of my computers. If I have a problem then I will get in there with google at hand. I have them to do stuff, not to dissect - not that I would have much of a chance with a Windows system being the hairy monstrosity that it is. I have dealved into the black art of manually editing icc printer profiles, which was fun... for a while.
I do not question why NC uses icm these days. I just assume that the Nikon engineers have at least some idea of what they are doing. My rule of thumb: Use icm when required and icc where required.
For me, colour management is now a set and forget affair. I work in aRGB. I profile/calibrate my LCD monitors occasionally, and set that as default in display properties. I print from
PS using "print with preview" where all I have to do is ensure that the correct profile for my choice of paper is selected and the printer driver is correctly configured (I use presets). My scanner has been profiled/calibrated. No more colour shifts with conversions to different profiles and prints are exactly the same as my monitor. The key was the spyder and printer profiles. That simple.
Cheers
Matt