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Hi
Normally, I don't post these but what the hell!
Ban me for a day please Gary!
Cheers
Graham


THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL


The following is an actual exam question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle's Law. Gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate that they are leaving.


I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore no souls are leaving.


As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that most souls go to Hell.


With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, then Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.


This gives two possibilities:


1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.


2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.


If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having that event take place, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

This student received the only 'A' in the class.

I don't care , because I'm not going to hell!
I'm not going to sit on a cloud playing the harp either.
I am going to have my youth back ! I am going to heaven, with bliss and enjoyment ! No guilty sinners crap. I will be enjoying !!! (lots of sex ...)

Regards
CTD

Christiand

You'll probably need a good polariser filter in heaven and also need to be clued up pretty well on white balance

Cheers

Graham

So umm... if hell is exothermic, and we presume heaven is the opposite of hell and thus endothermic (in keeping the universe of afterlife balanced), would it mean in heaven the people that end up there would have the heat sucked outta them and thus be eternally cold?!

With the human body predominately made of water, and with water having a comparatively high specific heat capacity, due to hydrogen bonds in the water molecule IIRC, humans could withstand an increase in (heat) energy applied before resulting in an increase in body temperature, more so than we could supply the heat energy as required of us in an endothermic reaction environment - ie. energy must be conserved hence in heaven we're required to break our bodily bonds to supply sufficient energy for "survival".

Bottom line - it would be far more comfortable receiving heat than having to give it, and Hell is a better afterlife environment for the human body physically.

What??

ROTFLMAO

Very clever!