What Would You Do.

[mic]

I have a problem, well my family has a problem.

We purchased a house around 5 months ago which we love and have my wifes elderly 77 year old sick father living in the bottom dwelling like a built in granny flat. it's great but we share a driveway with the neigbour and he is a 30 year old single lout that has his mates around on the weekends sinking booze right out the front of our front door and bedroom that we sleep in. The other night he was making a lot of noise at around 8pm so I opened my front door and said could you keep in down out there which he replied yeah no problem and as soon as I shut my door you could hear them all laughing and swearing which I didn't react to.
At around 9.30 he threw 2 apples one hitting our bathroom window nearly smashing it, I didn't know that he threw them as we just heard a loud bang the next morning I discovered the apples and worked it all out.
I rang the police to report it and they came to my work and took on the complaint and said they will give this guy a visit that night, by about 7ish Friday night they still hadn't shown up, we started hearing things being hurled onto our roof and into the side of our house, I went and spied through a slight opening in our bathroom window and identified that it was him throwing about every 10-15 mins between getting drunker & drunker.
I rang the cops again and when they turned up they nearly got hit by a rock coming over the garage.

Without dragging this on too much, they got him out the front of his house and told him that if they have to come out again to such a situation this will end up in court and him going off with them. straight after they left he started throwing more smaller stones at the house a screaming out all sorts of things.

In a nut shell he is a nutter that when pissed becomes very unstable, I feel threatened in my own home, I fear for my kids, farher in law.

My wife and have put the house on the market and are moving, I hate this prick with all my heart but can't do a damn thing as I am sure he will god knows do what to the others I love.It's going to cost us a lot in stamp duty and I only hope we get someone interested in this place and give us what we want.

We have had 48 hours of severe stress, I even slept on the couch over the weekend with a knife by my side incase he was coming in some how. if the prick even thought of anything like that and came in to my house I would have done anything to defend.

Sorry to throw all this shit on the forums plate but I am so stressed and wound up inside and can only do as the police said and ignore him and call them as soon as something happens.

I'm sorry if I don't reply to this alot as I now have to organise buying somewhere else and selling this, I am a nervous wreck flinching at every creek in the house.

Thanks for listening.

Mic. PS, Still no photo's for awhile as I cannot concentrate and I even gave up my D200 order I was to pick up to as I have to spend the $3000 on advertising.
Oh well, I suppose there is always someone else with bigger problems than this.

[phillipb]

Mic, that sounds terrible. Sorry I don't have a solution for you, except keep calling the cops until they themselves get fed up with him and do something about it.
Hope it all works out for you.

[pippin88]

mic, very sorry to hear this.

It's really dissapointing that there is no real way for you to successfully deal with this - the more you do, the worse he'll probably get.

Some people are just not fit to be included in our society - but there is no easy way to get rid of them.

[DVEous]

... Obsolete ...

[rokkstar]

Mic,

I feel you for you here, and totally empathise.

My girlfriends parents live next to a schizophrenic who won't take his medication to control his fits. He lives with his ageing father who is deaf so doesn't realise the problem.
The problem is that most nights, from 10pm till about 5am he screams and shouts at the top of his voice - obscenities, arguing with "voices" banging on the walls. Anyway, Sams parents are kept awake at all times.

The police have been next to useless - telling them to keep a log of the times he starts and stops, but that's as far as iut has gone. They are slowly going insane.

Now I know this isn't the same as having to sleep with a knife, and also this guy has a medical condition and isn't just a prick like your neighbor, and I;m not sure how it will help you, but I understand exaclty your desperation.

I'm very sorry it's come to this mic.

[Greg B]

mic,

Question 1 - is he renting or does he own the property?

If he is renting, you could take the matter up with the owner on the basis that there could be potentially costly trouble if that tenant stays (and he would almost certainly be in breach of his tenancy agreement)

Failing Q 1..

Most councils have a Citizens' advice bureau. They have too much experience dealing with matters such as this, and you would be surprised at how helpful they can be. I would be talking to them

[stormygirl]

Geeze Mic, I'm really sorry to hear this. It's not nice to feel unsafe in your own home, and it's such a shame you have to up and leave after only 5 months. Is your neighbour renting or does he own it? Surely if he is renting there must be something you can do??

I can't begin to imagine what you and your family are going through at the moment, and my thoughts are with you all. Sorry to hear about the D200, but you and your family come first, and I hope you get things sorted out soon and you are back taking some wicked photos (and inverting them!), in no time.

Take care, and I hope things look up for you soon.

[mic]

Thanks guys, so far it's just good to hear somebodies different view on it.

He owns it Greg, I know, bottom line we just want to leave and leave this prick behind and hope somebody one day will deal with him the way I would like to deal with him but doesn't have to worry about anybody else in his or her family.

Karma will prevail on this ego driven bastard, one way or another.

Thanks.

[Glen]

Mic, Greg's question is the most pertinent here. If he is renting (you can usually check ownership records online) let the owner know about the problem, the police visit, potential risk to the young and the old and the fact that now he is aware of the risk he can be party to any court action regarding damages. Most landlords don't want dickheads as tenants.

If he does get notice you will still have strife till he gets out and up to a couple of weeks afterwards. If that is the case I would suggest a security camera aimed his was and a 24hr video recorder.

Good luck

[big pix]

Mic ..... sorry to here of your worries........ Greg B has given some good advise....... sorry I cannot be of more help.......

[Alpha_7]

Sorry to here about your situaiton Mic, it really isn't fair for anyone not to feel safe in there own house, and it is a real shame that as you put pricks like this guy can get away with the kind of abusive threatening behaviour.

I hope you can find a good solution, it's a real shit if you going to lose money on the house, but I think you probably making the wise decision to get your family somewhere safe.

[Geoff]

Mic - this is awful, you poor thing .
I know this might sound a bit confrontational, but have you thought about going around when you know he's there alone (and sober) and sitting down and having a chat with him about it? Let him know that you're concerned, you want to be civil neighbours and you wonder why he does what he does? By the sounds of it, he doesn't really sound approachable, but perhaps as already suggested - get a video cam onto his place when this stuff occurs, then play it back to him the next day and ask him if he thought it was a fair scenario? Perhaps ask him (calmly) how he'd feel in your position? You may find that rational (on your behalf) conversation *may* make him stop and think about his actions. Food for thought. Sorry you've had to come to put your house on the market. That said - if you calmly approached him and let him know how disruptive and annoying his drunken behaviour was it may just get through. Good luck buddy!

[Grev]

Sorry to hear such things, these things are always bad.

If he is renting, then, you can surely use the evidence to kick him the hell out.

[Glen]

Mic, Geoff's suggestion is worth a shot, especially when you consider a)how hard it is to find a place with a granny flat and b) Victoria has one of the highest stamp duties in Aus, even higher than NSW. I was arranging a mortgage in Vic last week and couldn't believe how high it was.

It is hard to throw rocks at a bloke you have shared a coffee with.

[Geoff]

It is hard to throw rocks at a bloke you have shared a coffee with.

Really well worded Glen
Get to know your neighbour...there has to be something positive to come out of this?

[birddog114]

mic,
First, sorry to hear your misfortune! and I'm sharing the painful story with you and your family, hope & wish that you'll have the new resolution soon and back on track.

That's problems of property with sharing driveway (battleaxe block), apartment, flat, unit.

It's uncommon but happened and once it happened you feel sick.

I've been down that road at the first day once I arrived into the USA and Australia, nothing can stop it and the COPS are useless, created more violence and few headaches later.

I had a young family at that time and my decision was moved out, I felt safe for myself and my family, that was my smart decision and resolution other than challenge and compete with them, especially, they're the owner.

Whatever you do by taking photos, video camera, or talking with those people, just waste your time and energies.

Put the property on the market and move out.

P.S:
Mic,
Can you invert him, can't you?

[gstark]

If getting to know this person doesn't work, perhaps getting an AVO (or similar) might?

Having this person denied access to their own home because they're not permitted to come within a hundred meters of your home might make them think long and hard about their behaviour.

[MATT]

Mic, this is terrible..

I like the coffee idea, I think you need to talk to him sober.. It is a big step to go over and visit. But may be a way to stop the rubbish.

Having said that, If he is a 30yr old with mates that enjoy partying, it may stop them throwing stuff at your house but the parties most likely wont.

I think this is a bigger issue. So moving may be a better option. Who knows you may make some money selling.

Or the AVO may work a treat.

Good luck

MATT

[leek]

Really sorry to hear this Mic...

While I've reported anti-social neighbours to the police in the past, they were almost always renting, so didn't have very many legs to stand on...

A few friendly words / exchanges / gestures while he's in a more stable frame of mind might help to turn the situation around, but then again... Not sure if you know any of his "friends", but you could also try approaching them (again, when they are in a reasonable state of mind).

If you have decided to sell up, then consider carefully with the real estate agent when might be the appropriate time to have an open house to show the property off... Maybe when he's at work / asleep? That could make all the difference... While it's not nice to stick someone else with the problem, sometimes that's the only choice...

Another (Xtreme) possibility may be to invite Today Tonight to do a story on your problem - they tend to delight in this sort of unruly behaviour - You may make a few $$s from it but I'm not convinced that it would help you in the long run...

[christiand]

FYI

a few years ago I had the following situation:

next door neighbour's house got sold to the government.
Not long and a mixed white and indigenous family moved in.
We started to experience these people argumenting at midnight and later; they had loud fights probably fueled by alcohol.
We called the police who responded very quickly because we mentioned that children may be at risk.
We eventually decided to move.
I'm not looking back to such a neighbour and unfortunately it cost us some money.

This is my experience and choice and it worked out well.

Cheers,
CD

[mic]

Thanks to all that have helped with this crap that has fallen upon my families & my shoulder, one can only hope a large turd will fall out of 747 at 30,000 feet and hit this prick fair & square right on his mindless brain.

Our house is on the market as we have decided to lose money and get out and try again.

I will keep you all up to date, my wife had a look at this Thread last night and said what a lot of nice people you mingle with on that Forum of yours.

Thanks to all.

Mic.

[PiroStitch]

g'day mic,

sorry to hear about your struggles and frustrations.

I'd like to echo the suggestion about visiting the guy when he's sober.

A friend of mine had the same situation when he was living in an apartment. The tenant above him was a nice guy to speak to, but an alcoholic and when he was drunk he would become loud, arrogant and violent towards anybody including his wife and child. He feared for his own life, his family's and everybody else in that apartment block. The cops were called in but hardly did anything during the domestics except lock him away for the night and that made him even more angry. My friend did speak to tenant and when he was sober, he was apologetic, etc about his behaviour.

Long story short, my friend has moved out of that apartment (not due to continuing violence, he just needed another place) and the tenant and his wife separated with the man being thrown in jail.

As much as you don't want to - and if it does seem pointless as you've put your house on the market - visit the neighbour when he's not drunk and have a one on one dialogue with the bloke. For all we know, he could be struggling with his own life and the only way for him to get over it is to have parties with his mates and get drunk. Unfortunately, there ARE people like that. I know someone who's like that, but s/he doesn't get violent and hurl abuse at everyone

Now on the topic of karma, sure the bloke's creating some bad causes for himself by hurling abuse at everyone around him but honestly what sort of causes are you creating for yourself as well by making this someone else's problem? Sorry if I sound a bit self righteous but I'm not. Just want to think from the other side of the fence (no pun intended) As you've said for yourself, you feel sorry for whoever buys the place but you're concerned for your family's safety which is very valid. I know if I was in your situation, that would be the bloody first thing on my mind but standing up to the challenge would be far more valuable at first.

If after you approach the guy doesn't work and everything goes back to the way it was, then the move would be quite valid I wouldn't want to see this repeated to you or anybody else.

Cheers,

Wayne

[mic]

Wayne,

Point taken, but what would you do.

I'm not in the mood at the moment to even think of your Karma cenario.

Bottom line, I'm doing what it takes to protect my family.

When it all comes down to it thats what it is all about.

It's not a perfect little crystal ball world we all live in is it.

Mic.

[birddog114]

Bottom line, I'm doing what it takes to protect my family.

When it all comes down to it thats what it is all about.

Mic.

That's the important statement and I'm with you.
I live and die for my family same as my love ones.

[phillipb]

I'm yet to see an ad for a house that tells you everything that's wrong with it.
That's why you pay to have all the searches done and all the tests for termites etc. It's up to the buyer to research for themselves what the neighbours are like.
In any case, he could be the nicest person in the world to the new neighbour if they become drinking buddies and are of a similar mindset.

[blacknstormy]

Mic - can't say anything that can help, and can't help but echo some of the suggestions on this thread, but basically, family comes first - money is only money - little bits of paper that make life easier, and let us play with our cameras etc - but family - THAT's what is important.

I think if I was in your situation, I'd move and gain some peace of mind and sanity.

Hugs and best wishes

Rel

(ps NOW is when I wish wonderwoman was real - at least she could have kicked his pathetic lilly ass !!!!!)

[glamy]

Mic,
I've had problems with noisy neighbours and I know how you feel. Noisy is not as bad as agressive and with some idiots it is a lost cause. He owns the house so, besides breaking all his bones you have little choice. I think you are right to move before it gets to your family life. Try and keep cool...
Gerard

[TonyH]

This may appear an over simplistic answer, but buy an attack trained dog.

I have one and have had the occasion to use its "special skills". I don't care how tough or pissed an individual is they will shit themselves when confronted with a full on German Shepherd or Doberman, waiting for the opportunity to chew on his throat.

You need to negotiate from a position of power and in my opinion it would work out cheaper than moving.

If you want some contact phone numbers please let me know by pm.

I really do hope you can find a resolution.


Tony

[Raskill]

Shit position to be in. He is a bully, plain and simple. I have a friend going through the same thing. The AVO option is always there, but it is a hassle, and from my experience can inflame things. If you can move, then it might be the most expensive best option. Sure, it's shit, you have done nothing wrong, but for peace of mind, is it worth staying? Having to sleep with a knife beside you is a sad indictment of the pressure you are under. Incidentally, most people injured or killed in a home invasion type scenario are the owners who have armed themselves. But what else can you do?


I wish you and your family luck, and with any luck, old matey who has caused you this hassle will fall into a wood chipper.

[mic]

Thank to all that have helped me on this issue, I will now close this thread one as there is a whole new saga that has developed.

My family and I have been attacked.